1 month

this has been the fastest month of my life! I thought time was moving fast before, I had no idea! We are still home on maternity leave and I am enjoying every minute of it! Some days we have a pretty good routine and others not so much!  Berkley is a great sleeper, most nights, which makes it so nice for me because I have energy in the day to do things! Those first 2 weeks were a little rough. Trying to adjust, take care of Berkley, and heal from my surgery. There was 1 night where Berkley would not stop crying! I started crying with her and couldn't stop! Chris got home and after a couple hours of both of us crying non stop, he finally told me to go to bed and he would take care of Berkley. Thank goodness for a good daddy/husband. I wasn't sure what to do. He ended up staying up with her till about 3 in the morning! I was so thankful and happy to be able to sleep so I could function the next day.
We are now 6 weeks into this whole parent thing and I think we are getting the hang of it. I am starting to feel a little more comfortable about taking her out and we even have our first camping trip planned for this weekend! hopefully all will go well. We are also in the process of switching from breast feeding to bottle... so far it is going good besides a little constipation. some days are harder than others and some days I feel more guilty than others. Breast feeding is soooo much better for baby than formula but it is so hard on me! I HATE IT! I can't wear normal clothes, I can't wear a normal bra, I can't leave the house without planning the next time she will need to eat. I feel so tide down, not to mention the pain of breast feeding! anyway, it works for some and not others, i'm trying not to feel too guilty because she is doing really good with formula.
Every day I think I fall more in love with her sweet little face!  she is starting to smile and coo a lot! I can't wait for more fun things but at the same time I want to cry when I look back at how much she has already grown!

2 days old...

1 month old....

 

The Birth Story

On July 10 I had my last Dr. visit, still not making much progress and being 40 weeks, my Dr. stripped my membranes and scheduled the induction. Our little miss would be here on July 15. They had us go into the hospital the night before. They were going to start some medication in hopes I would go into labor on my own and then start the Pitocin in the morning. On Sunday July 14 my mom and sisters came up. My mom made us dinner and we prepared to go to the hospital. As the time grew closer my anxiety started to get out of control.... I started to freak out as we got closer to leaving. The saying "ignorance is bliss"kept repeating itself in my head. if your water breaks or your contractions are close, you just go with it! You don't have time to analyze and think about EVERYTHING that could or could not happen.  As we walked out the door Chris hugged me so tight and I broke! He told me how much he loved me and how exciting this was. He said not to worry and everything would be okay. It helped calm me down a little bit.  As we drove to the hospital tears streaming down my face I couldn't help but think, I should be happy and excited and instead I was terrified. I tried not to think about the labor process and just the excitement and finally getting to meet this little lady! We arrived at the hospital at 8pm checked in and rather than starting the other medication, they said my contractions were close enough they were just going to start the Pitocin. One small thing no one mentioned was that when you have pitocin the contractions are 10 times worse/stronger than without. So at 9pm I started really feeling the contractions... not too bad they were painful but I was dealing with them.... by about 10 I thought I was dying! the contractions were about 3-5 minutes apart. Chris was so supportive and was trying everything to help but it was so hard to focus on anything but the pain.... they kept asking if I wanted the epidural and I was only at a 3 and was trying to stick it out as long as I could because I had heard its bad for the baby too get it too soon. the pain started getting worse and I started throwing up because it hurt so bad.. around midnight and at 5cm I broke and got the epidural.... that was THE BEST thing ever! we were able to get some sleep and relax a little! it was hard for me to sleep because they would come in and check me about every 40 min... at about 1 am... they had me lay on my side... then about 2 started giving me oxygen... then at 3 they stopped the Pitocin and finally told us... Berkley's heart rate had been dropping and nothing they were doing was changing it.... The nurse left and said she was going to call my Dr. At about 330-345 my Dr. arrived and said we were going to be doing C-section. I started to cry and the scared feeling overwhelmed me...at 4AM they threw scrubs to Chris as  they wheeled me to the O.R. The Anesthesiologist was amazing and as I was hyperventilating he injected every drug possible to get me to calm down, and not feel any pain. Chris sat by my head and watched as they cut me open and went elbow deep to grab our little girl. I heard the Dr. say here she is, and then it went dead silent, I asked why isn't she crying? And then at 4:26 I heard my Dr. count to 3 and then the most amazing sound in the whole world! She screamed! She was a little purple/blue but she was here and she was crying! Turns out she had the umbilical cord wrapped about her neck not once, not twice but 3 THREE times! which is why my dr. counted to 3, as she unwrapped the cord. from this point everything became a bit blurry. I was so doped up and exhausted I'm not sure what happened. So on to the pictures!

Introducing

Berkley Grace Horne
Born July 15, 2013 @4:26am
Weight 7lbs 4 oz and 19 inches

She is perfect in everyway!  Birth story to come!

39 weeks

39 Weeks..... I'm sitting here in shock! I can't believe our little girl could be here any day. I'm looking at her empty swing and bassinet and dreaming of what she will look like in them. I'm wondering if she will look more like me or her daddy. I'm wondering what life is going to be like with a baby! are we still going to be able to sit here on the couch watching what we wanna watch? probably for a little while. I'm enjoying every single kick and turn and jump I'm feeling. I'm soaking in every last pregnant thing I can! I have to share her pretty soon and although most days I am ready for her to be here, there are some days where I don't wanna share her, I don't want her to have to live in this scary world, I want her to stay safe and warm in my belly. there are so many things running through my mind... I think we are ready, but how do you really know? are you ever READY? I have been doing laundry like a crazy person, but all her clothes are clean, blankets are washed and put away. I have our hospital bag packed. Car seat is installed. I think we are READY! I have been running up and down the stairs in hopes she will come!
It has been pretty stormy the last few days, and I've heard storms bring babies, and I'm still waiting to feel something, ANYTHING. I have only had a few Braxton hicks. I have been feeling fine, HUGE, but fine. Some nights I sleep SO GOOD, other nights I barely get any sleep! I am pretty uncomfortable, but I'm sure it would be worse.

 

in other non baby news, we have started to finish our back yard! We have our fence up, we got cement done on Friday, and all I have to say is THANK GOODNESS for good neighbors! Our neighbor Mitch has done pretty much everything in our back yard! I love living next to people that are so friendly and so helpful and so much fun to hang out with! They also SPOIL this little lady! I can't even count how many outfits and gifts they have given us in the last 9 months!

 

 

2 month difference

I can't believe I'm posting these because I feel like they are horrible but I want to remember. My face in the last one is so swollen! I can't believe I thought I was big in April, I had no idea what was coming!

 

 

 

 

x

May/June

I don't even remember what happened in May. Chris' sister Melissa got married, we were both in the line. It was a very pretty ceremony and we are so happy for her.
the first weekend in June we had my family baby shower. We decided that her name would be Berkley Grace Horne. My sister and I had talked about this name well before we even knew she was a girl and I just couldn't get over it. Luckily Chris liked it too! For my shower we were very spoiled with lots of cute clothes and great company. I'm so happy so many people were able to come! My cousin makes the wood block letters and I asked her to make them for me. I pretty much started crying when I seen the final product!  They match her nursery perfect and I just love the way they look. Speaking of crying the pregnancy fairy came again in May and brought a much need pedicure for me on mothers day. Then for the shower my talented sisters A.K.A. "the pregnancy fairy" printed up all the cute little sayings we had received and displayed them with all the gifts.
The last one, I couldn't even get through reading it, I'm such a baby, but the thoughts and gifts meant so much to me. For the last pregnancy fairy gift, we were given a scrapbook, to document Berkley's first few years. Again que tears here! `
"Today as you celebrate the date is growing near, only 1 month remains until your baby girl is here! This month the fairy brings a gift for her AND you, take a look and you will see exactly what to do. Write down all your memories and all that you will see, List all the talents, her strengths and her beauty. There will be some times of laughter and even a few tears, this book will keep the memories of her for years and years. And when the timings right, you will want to know for sure, Wrap this book up so pretty and pass it on to her"

35weeks/35days!

How did this happen! I am 35 weeks and only have 35 days to go! It seems like I was stuck in the 20's for so long and now all the sudden she is almost here!

How far along? 35 weeks

Baby's size?  The size of a coconut! 17-18inchs and weighing 4-5 lbs!

Total weight gain: really don’t wanna talk about it

Maternity clothes? Yes and they are getting old! I wear the same thing, over and over and over!

Sleep: sleep is still good, wake up a couple times but can usually fall right back asleep

Best moment(s) this past week:  we had my family baby shower, Officially decided on her name, and had a fun date night. Went to dinner and a movieJ

Miss Anything? Energy! I’m so tired and lazy!

Movement:  she is a mover!  I love it!  Starting to get crowded I’m sure, I feel her more on my side and in my ribs.

Anything making you queasy or sick:  nothing really, raw hamburger definitely has a bad smell!

Cravings:  still loving the sweets!

Labor Signs: Nope!

Gender: GIRL

Symptoms: Just tired.

Belly Button in or out? flat

Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time:  happy mostly but definitely have mood swings!

Looking forward to: buying cute clothes for me!